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The Underground
Seeking the Light in the Darkness
Reflection :
“[32] And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”
[John 8:32]
Peace and blessings dear friends and benefactors, as I begin this new year I am hoping to begin a writing style which goes to the roots of the mission of this Apostolate. The vision is when you read a short reflection it will give you a sense like the morning dew and see yourself in the present what duty God has called you to do, and align yourself to see His goodness. To do your duty for His glory by merely accepting to see that as a rock glorifies God by merely doing what a rock does, being a rock, we glorify Him by doing what He has designed us to be as Christians and Humans, to reflect His image
[27] And God created man to his own image: to the image of God he created him: male and female he created them.”[Genesis 1:27]“[29] For whom he foreknew, he also predestinated to be made conformable to the image of his Son; that he might be the firstborn amongst many brethren.”[Romans 8:29]
My Mother, Juana, at the San Fernando Mission taking a glimpse at the Light of our Roman Catholic History.
Hoping the writing style is to go to the roots of wanting to share more stories as if I were writing to that old self of mine to keep things simple and grow the practice of being in the Presence of God in all things. The foundation of the mission of this apostolate is to help people see how God sees us so to connect the dots of the faith that helped light the way and build the tools that I picked up along the way. I pray this will find people more to see the photographs and place themselves on the journey with me.
Much of my life was spent seeking how to truly live and find happiness. When I was in university the professors taught this but I felt something was always missing. If showing love really is about wanting the best for the other person then it always seemed that all the world provided for us was a way to make yourself feel good, even when trying to do for others. I was restless for many years, looking for the truth in the underground
“[27] And Isaias crieth out concerning Israel: If the number of the children of Israel be as the sand of the sea, a remnant shall be saved.”[Romans 9:27]
The mainstream church almost would seem like the Pharisaical church of old, while the True Church has been the one cast aside and as the Traditional parishes now face more suppression by the Vatican it seems like the church will go underground where Holy Masses will be found in the places where they are able to be offered for the saving of souls. Our priest, Fr. Burfitt from the our Lady of the Angels will drive to San Diego on Sundays to offer mass in a hotel conference room for the faithful, which even my former new rite priest’s family attends, so it seems like the True Church of God is going to be like in the catacombs and humble again for those truly seeking to honor Him in the Eucharist, loyal truly to the Pope in union with all other Pope’s teaching, and our Lady.
I once had so much, but lacked so much of the peace I had once hoped to have. I dreamt and prayed for what I had hoped to become as a photographer and as an artist. I thought of family life and all the things I could provide. Yet, even when that seemed so close, possibly my lack of security would always demand more for me to reach such a life. The Light always found a way to shine through. Many moments of my life were hit upon like those movies when the angels come and nudge you in the right way. Sometimes, they allowed me to see all the bad and really that is what helped me to see where I was going. So much had been hidden from me, I always felt our history or a part of it was missing. I would go to churches and see amazing altars not being used and wondered what happened. Finally, when I went to my first Roman Rite Mass, Latin Mass, it seemed to all clicked. Our history is barred up and hidden behind the walls or just used as if the beauty and treasures are buried like an old chest. I started to read Rediscovering Catholicism. It is a book though I’ll rather suggest another book like “letter to Confused Catholics” by Archbishop Lefebvre, for the possibility of modern errors in it. It has been a while since I have read it, but it helped me to see I had been lied too as far as people teaching me what the Church history was as oppressive and evil. I realized how much I had been lied to about my Catholic faith. The enemy sold me an idea of who I am, rather than who God had made me. It took this long process of trying to destroy and hide away all things that would remind me of what it meant to be happy, just like a treasure chest buried with all the photos and treasures of one’s life. It was as if there was a war against all that was of God cast off and hidden from the population and the one in control sold everyone on an idea of what the “enemy” was rather than who was truly the enemy. Our Lady of Buen Suceso in Quito, which I could share the book title in another issue once I read it myself, but there is a great conference Fr. Purdy did in Quito which I have referenced in the Stay Sharp page. Our Lady mentioned that the Masons would try to control the education system to teach children and demoralize them, how much more important now than ever is to know our true history rooted in our Lord and His Holy Roman Catholic and Apostolic Church, which many have died for.
Prayer:
Breathe in me, O Holy Spirit, That my thoughts may all be holy. Act in me, O Holy Spirit, That my work, too, may be holy. Draw my heart, O Holy Spirit, That I love but what is holy. Strengthen me, O Holy Spirit, To defend all that is holy. Guard me, then, O Holy Spirit, That I always may be holy.
(Holy Ghost Prayer By St. Augustine)
Meditation:
Knowing yourself more in the eyes of God, seeing that your history rest in His hand and that His plans for you had come from so many that have planted seeds to see you succeed in the saving of your soul. That the Virgin Mary has kept you in her sight to help you along the daily duties, examine the day.
Top: Framed photo of the Franciscan Martyrs in the Bishop’s Room at the Mission
History of California’s original flag from the San Fernando Mission
Clement Of Alexandria AD 215
And the expression, “Ye have sold yourselves to your sins “agrees with what is said above: “Every one, then, who committeth sin is a slave; and the slave abideth not in the house for ever. But if the Son shall make you free, then shall ye be free, and the truth shall make you free.”
Message of our Lady of BuenSuceso, in Quito Ecuador :
“ I make it known to you that at the end of the 19th century until a little after the half of the 20th century, in what is today the Colony and will then be Republic of Ecuador, the passions will overflow and there will be a total corruption of customs because of the almost total reign of Satan in the masonic sects which principally will strive to corrupt the childhood to maintain the general corruption!
What is it to gain the world and lose your soul as Our Lord Jesus [Mark 8:36], speaks to us in the gospel. Then, finding that God held me in His hands through all my bad choices and to realize the Name that helped me to see how much I had been loved into existence. All I wanted to do was pour myself out realizing how much He gave me time after time,which were more opportunities to realize His goodness and great love. Now it’s all I dream of sharing, the Mercy He has bestowed on me, a great sinner, showing patience in the times where I did not know Him to how He knocked me down and broke me open, so I would allow myself to be helped and saved by God. This is His Name, Jesus, God Saves. God saves for many times I did not allow myself to be helped or trusted no one to entrust my weak frail heart that had seen so many deceptions in my life. The world could not give me something that only Jesus and Mary could, true Peace. The gift of His sacrifice for my sins and a Mother to console me, by the Sacrament of Confession after 12 plus years, as to show me a part of my role in His great Family that by the simple things I could accept a life ordered with joy and fulfillment merely by the duties He calls us to.
“For I will shew him how great things he must suffer for my name’s sake.”
[Acts Of Apostles 9:16]
From Saul To Paul
Often I fought God in my heart, I thought withholding these selfish desires would appease the wrath deserved by my past, knowing my true desires in wanting to please my Father, yet I often hid like Adam after he ate the forbidden apple. We fight God often forgetting the child we are rather than the slave we are to sin and the devil. I had often misplaced my childhood desires, forgetting them because of all the other things that life stacks onto them by our faults and sins. Suffering seems to clear away the rubble, all clouds clear out even when it seems Christ is sleeping in the storms. Often I chased idols of career, fixed on the distorted or inverted thought of success and left the thoughts of vocation or family life second to the true end.
Recently I have thought what joy it is to know that things could have gone the other way and I would have not come to know the Lord in the faith and the Church, which has been given to me Grace. What joy in the manner of so many trials that took me to realize our Lady working to rescue my soul, that the grace of a Mother’s prayers helped me to see my errors and my heart became contrite to accept the help of family and thus of God.
I wandered many years seeking Him, lacking peace and many long nights wondering what will be of me, seeing my sins in front of me, not knowing that it was Him knocking. My heart weeps knowing I could have been lost forever. God gifted me time to continue to amend my heart and see the new man He has redeemed.
May we do all for the Glory of God and rest under the shelter of the Mantle of Our Lady +
German T
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Wonderful spiritual reading. Thank you for all your hard work. Mary keep you.
Glory to God, dear sister, Thank you. Please keep me and this apostolate work in your prayers and sacrifices. Pax+